ImmigrationFraudVictims

Martha was physically abused by her Mexican husband for 17 years. In 2002 they moved to the US and in 2005 she got him arrested for Domestic Violence.

She was told about VAWA: Under this law a woman can simply claim that she is a domestic violence victim and she gets all the help she needs: Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…

During the 3 years we were together she was considering this option: If she married me, a US citizen, her problems would be over. She would always have the option of accusing me of domestic violence. She would then turn into a victim again and everybody would help her… isn’t that a great feeling: “I am in a foreign country but everybody it helping me. I get Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…”

“I don't care how much I would hurt him. He is a man, just like my Mexican husband. They (men) only want to hurt me…”

So she did it.

I am so sorry…. For you.

When I met you, you were a Domestic Violence Victim. You were getting divorced, you would become illegal in this country and your future was uncertain. You needed help and I wanted to help. I am not sure about your intentions, by mine were pure.

We moved in together. I offered a home for you and your 3 sons. I did it because I believed it was the right thing to do. I believed you and your sons deserved it. I believed you all deserve a chance in this country. Again, my intentions were pure.

I didn’t pay attention to your insecurity. I didn’t pay attention to your lies. I didn’t pay attention to your threats. All the time I believed you were the victim, that you needed help, that you didn’t mean what you were saying because you were under a lot of stress.

After almost 3 years together you said you needed to get married. You needed to see you son in Mexico. I wasn’t ready for the marriage but again I believed needed help. I believed that you were under a lot of stress.

I agreed to marry you just in order to help you. That was stupid but again, my intentions were pure.

You knew that if you marry me, a US citizen, your problems would be over. You would always have the option of accusing me of domestic violence. You would then turn into a victim again and everybody would help you… isn’t that a great feeling: “I am in a foreign country but everybody it helping me. I get Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…”

“I don't care how much I would hurt him. He is a man, just like my Mexican husband. They (men) only want to hurt me…”

So you did it. What were your intentions when you did it? You made false accusations of domestic violence against me. You manipulated the system to get VAWA benefits: Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…

So… I feel so sorry for you.

Yes. I am sick now. But I will get better. I am already much better.

But you? You will have to live with what you did for the rest of your life.

I made mistakes. Eventually I will learn to live with my mistakes. Eventually I will forgive myself.

I have forgiven you. I forgive you. You are a very sick person and it is not your fault. I forgive you.

But you? Can you forgive yourself? Can you look at your family in the eyes? They know what you did. Can you live with the shame?

I feel so sorry for you.

Get as far as I can from her ugly world.

It is 3 o’clock in the morning. I had a flash-back and I am awake. I can’t sleep.
Now that I am awake I feel at peace… Here is why:

I have been working hard on analyzing the traumatic events and I think I got most of it out of the dark. There was a bunch of stuff I just could not remember. I think I remember most of it now.

The flash-back was about the last surgery that she had. It was a cosmetic surgery. I paid for it. I drove her to and from the surgery. I sat by her bed for two weeks after the surgery. I gave her pills and suppositories for pain. I really took care of her.

Then I needed a couple of surgeries. It was out-patient procedures. She drove me to the surgeries and back. But something went horribly wrong…

I suppose she couldn’t stand to see that I had a medical problem, that I was not perfect, that I needed to be operated on, that I was bleeding, that my face was swollen and not so pretty to look at for a while… That I too had defects and that I was not perfect.

THAT’S IT. I have my defects. I am human. I bleed. I was bleeding. She could not take it. After that our relationship got worse every single day. She instigated most of it: The quarrels, the insane things she did with her 2 sons that made them hate me so much (like making them walk long distances instead of borrowing my car which she did again and again like a lunatic). That was a part of her plan so that they would cooperate when it would come to the worse part, the FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence.

I didn’t even fully recover from the surgery when she started calling the police… She needed the police reports as evidence…

She had this plan in her mind to accuse me of domestic violence and get to a shelter. They told her about the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) when her first husband was arrested for beating her in 2005. She would only have to claim there was violence. They don’t ask for any proof. They would accept her to the program… the only problem is that she would hurt me in the process.

So she did it. She made false accusations against me so she could get VAWA benefits.

She made the false accusations of Domestic Violence. We went to court and her accusations were DISMISSED. I spiraled into the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was very sick for months and I didn't know what was happening to me. Then I found out that I had PTSD and I started analyzing the events.

It is 3 o’clock in the morning and I am awake. I feel at peace more than I did before. I have been working hard on analyzing the traumatic events. I think I remember most of it now.

It was not my fault. I am human. I have defects. I have a medical problem and I need surgeries. She is very sick. She had been abused by her first husband for 17 years. She cannot love another man. She is incapable of having a normal relationship with a man. She could not handle it. She is only capable of abusing men. How could I expect her to take care of me? HOW???

STUPID ME…

I wish for it to be over now. I want it to be over. I want to be able to sleep at night. I wish I could forget it all. I wish the thoughts, flash-backs and nightmares would go away forever.

Before I knew her I lived in a nice world where everybody around me was good and people did not hurt each-other. She revealed to me a world that I never knew before, that I did not want to know: A world of evil and malice, a world of ABUSE and FALSE ACCUSATIONS.

My life has changed forever and will never be the same again. I now live in an UGLY, FILTHY, DISGUSTING and EVIL world that I never knew existed. I have changed forever. I will never be the same again, thanks to her entering my life…

I want to get as far as I can from her ugly, filthy, disgusting and evil world. She can stay there if she wants. That would be her choice.

I want to get away from her UGLY WORLD.