ImmigrationFraudVictims

Our personalities change from the effects of a failed marriage with a fraudulent foreign spouse. When we first met them we were different people. We knew our system had flaws but we trusted it for the most part. With those we fell in love with we trusted them more. We trusted them with our dreams. The dreams of the pleasure of sharing and exploring with them an all new wonderful life. It was ours together a second chance and a chance to do it right. Surely they would see it that way. Our heads went into the clouds. But the realities of a marriage to someone who didn't share our dreams and had an agenda that was different from our own darkened those clouds. Suddenly with a start we woke up. For some of us it was that moment from a staged 911 incident when the cold steel of handcuffs was felt and we were being lead away. For some of us it was seeing for the first time the web page of our spouse being active on a dating site. For some of us it was the day after our second anniversary and we were staring at our spouse's set of packed bags and a taxi waiting outside. At that point we lost all consciousness to the big picture of our lives. We slipped into our nightmare of divorce attorneys, the indifferent USCIS, arresting police officers, prosecutors, shelter workers, restraining orders, treacherous friends of our spouse, I-360s and all their meaning, "I told you so" friends and family and the suspicions of neighbors and most everyone else. Those suspicions of people who use tired old cliche reasoning of:

"There are two side of every story"
"Where there is smoke there must be fire"
"You never know what goes on behind closed doors"

They made us sick and we wanted to yell at them for their lack of understanding.

After all the above happens something changes in us.
We lose all naivety.
We question the motives of everyone.
We question ourselves.
We become numb.
or overly sensitive.
For some it develops into deep deep sadness.
For others it's a feeling of being mean and angry.
"I'll wear my scarlet letter "A" for abuser just leave me alone!"
A tough hide develops.
But not tough enough.
It's the new you as in...

Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy"


I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing

Till they got a hold of me

I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers

They can't be seen with me

And I'm gettin' real shot down
And I'm feelin' mean
No more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean

No more Mister Nice Guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm feelin' real shot down
And I'm gettin' mean
No more Mister Nice Guy

No more Mister Clean
No more Mister Nice Guy

They say he's sick, he's obscene
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye

Mom's been thrown out of the social circles

And dad has to hide
I went to church incognito
When everybody rose
the Reverend Smithy
He recognized me
and punched me in the nose
He said, no more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean

No more Mister Nice Guy
He said you're sick, you're obscene

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZnhuOEUFXA

There is truth in the saying: "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
No need to let this darken you and your outlook on life.
Direct that new strength into being a stronger version of the old you.
Someday you will look back at all this and laugh.
Then you will know you made it through it and ready for your third chance to do it right.

Maxx

I pray for the day I Can Laugh About My situation! Is never ending!
Good stuff Here! maybe It will Help?

Yes Madmax, someday all this will pass for you and you will look back at it, shake your head and laugh. I have been in contact with people in your situation for several years now. What I noticed is that the intense turmoil last less than a year and the irritation a year or so after that.

unfortunately Mine Has been ongoing for Years. 4 plus! I truly Have lost Some Of My Stability! I Still Fight The bad! Not Easy!!! My Situation I Feel Is The Extreme! Thank God Finally There Is A Place Such As This To Contribute The Real!

Thanks guys!!!

You have the change correct.

Laugh, however, never.

It's one thing to be used by another, it's something totally different to be abused by your country.

What I mean about laughing about it is this. After time the pain subsides. Then we look back and laugh at the corrupt crooked miserable people who are desperate for green cards and VAWA funds. In time all what we went through becomes a rather bazaar joke that flashes across our mind for a moment before we think about something else.

Maxx

Maxx,

Great bit of writing there!

As for laughing.....I won't let my soon to be ex-wife take that away from me. She took a lot from me, but my ability to laugh will always be mine.

Not to use too many cliches here, but you have to laugh to keep from crying! One day soon, I WILL have the last laugh!

Unfortunately, my fraudster took our baby and left the state. So, even after all the legal stuff clears, then I'll still have to interact with her because of our child.

If it was just money, that would be one thing, however having a child together is much different. Now, its very clear that she had it planned even before she came to the USA. I was foolish, or perhaps just normal, to let my guard down once I found out she was pregnant. Had she not been pregnant, I probably would have canceled the paperwork to bring her to America.

I do not find much difference between these fraudsters and sociopaths, in my case, they're synonymous.

I have to agree with this, as well. My soon to be ex-husband, God willing, has taken almost everything away from me, but I won't let him take that.

As for crying... well, I do that a lot, too, but it's still so fresh. I'm sure time will heal the wound, but it will never be the same, as Alice Cooper said.

Maybe the laughing thing is a Texas thing.

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." ~Kurt Vonnegut


Welcome to our group Broken72. My ex-wife didn't take my sense of humor, nor did she take the Texas out of me!

I am a victim of Marriage Fraud.. i live in NYC and dont understand why we cant get help.. i have called ICE an HLS and didn't get nowere can anyone out there tell me where i can go for help..

Fisher, it comes as a shock to most but the government has decided years ago (about 1996) not to help people like us who are victims of marriage fraud.

In most cases the most help a person can get is from themselves or from family and friends. If it is a legal case such as divorce or false domestic violence charges one must find a good attorney.

I too am a victim of marriage fraud.Had to declare bankruptcy,lost my job,victim of false abuse allegations with restraining order.No help from U.S.C.I.S..
If someone can help me find a way to get the U.S.CI.S.to wake up and help us,I would be grateful.
Jobcajun,
Lafayette,La.

"There is truth in the saying: "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
No need to let this darken you and your outlook on life.
Direct that new strength into being a stronger version of the old you.
Someday you will look back at all this and laugh.
Then you will know you made it through it and ready for your third chance to do it right.
"

This I need to hear OFTEN.

My journey is just beginning. I have NO idea what is going on...

I'll send you a PM of my number and we can talk sometime soon. Hang in there.