ImmigrationFraudVictims

I am so sorry…. For you.

When I met you, you were a Domestic Violence Victim. You were getting divorced, you would become illegal in this country and your future was uncertain. You needed help and I wanted to help. I am not sure about your intentions, by mine were pure.

We moved in together. I offered a home for you and your 3 sons. I did it because I believed it was the right thing to do. I believed you and your sons deserved it. I believed you all deserve a chance in this country. Again, my intentions were pure.

I didn’t pay attention to your insecurity. I didn’t pay attention to your lies. I didn’t pay attention to your threats. All the time I believed you were the victim, that you needed help, that you didn’t mean what you were saying because you were under a lot of stress.

After almost 3 years together you said you needed to get married. You needed to see you son in Mexico. I wasn’t ready for the marriage but again I believed needed help. I believed that you were under a lot of stress.

I agreed to marry you just in order to help you. That was stupid but again, my intentions were pure.

You knew that if you marry me, a US citizen, your problems would be over. You would always have the option of accusing me of domestic violence. You would then turn into a victim again and everybody would help you… isn’t that a great feeling: “I am in a foreign country but everybody it helping me. I get Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…”

“I don't care how much I would hurt him. He is a man, just like my Mexican husband. They (men) only want to hurt me…”

So you did it. What were your intentions when you did it? You made false accusations of domestic violence against me. You manipulated the system to get VAWA benefits: Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…

So… I feel so sorry for you.

Yes. I am sick now. But I will get better. I am already much better.

But you? You will have to live with what you did for the rest of your life.

I made mistakes. Eventually I will learn to live with my mistakes. Eventually I will forgive myself.

I have forgiven you. I forgive you. You are a very sick person and it is not your fault. I forgive you.

But you? Can you forgive yourself? Can you look at your family in the eyes? They know what you did. Can you live with the shame?

I feel so sorry for you.

Bobby Wrote: “She could have been driven by fear or guilt or some thing else, and she could have had other people threatening her or maybe she is paranoid schizophrenic and you just did not know about her mental illness.”

What you are saying, Bobby is surely part of the truth, but I lived with this person for three years and although she managed to cheat me and lie to me during three years, I am not completely blind (or def).

During the 3 years we were together there she made some comments that I didn’t understand at the time, but today they make perfect sense.

1.“I am like play-dough. I can adapt to any man” meaning: I will pretend to be the perfect wife until I reach my objectives. I will abuse you until I get what I want.
2.“You are OK to live with” meaning: I don’t love you but since you have a house and I need a place for my children and myself, I will move in with you and I will offer you sex in exchange.
3.“One day I will change my mind, then everything will change” meaning: When I reach my objectives or when I can’t fake it any more – whichever happens first – I will stop being your lover and I will turn into your worst enemy.
4.“If you don't file for immigration for me and my children I will leave you a present” meaning: If you don't comply with my demands I will make false accusations of domestic violence against you and you will get arrested.
5.“I win. You are a loser” meaning: I have lied to you for three years. I reached my objectives. I am making false accusations against you. I don’t need you any more.

Was she driven by fear? Sure, the fear of going back to Mexico where everybody knows her. In Mexico she built a reputation of a liar and a promiscuous woman. None of her Mexican “friends” want her around. Of course I didn't know about that until now.

Asking GOD to take these terrible memories away…

I am sick and tired of having the same tape rolling every night. I woke up three times last night. I am trying to fight it by meditating, by asking GOD to take these terrible memories away.

I noticed that as I am meditating to push away the flash-backs and the memories, my stress level goes way up. I am not sure I am doing the right thing, but it sure feels better that having that tape roll again…

She was the woman who I thought would be a great wife.

She has now been reduced to a dismissed court case. It is her petition for a Temporary Protective Order that was dismissed so quickly. The judge knew she was lying and dismissed the case without even calling any witnesses.

She has been reduced to a liar who abused ME and systems like the Violence Against Women Act and (VAWA) and US Citizenship and Immigration Services. Someone who committed Immigration Marriage Fraud, Purgery and providing lies to the police.

The most traumatic moment was when I was served by the Sheriff Department with the Temporary Protective Order. I just couldn’t believe that the woman that I was helping so much would be capable of something like that. After her divorce I offered her my house. She and her 3 sons lived in my house for three years. I helped her with so many things: house, car, driver’s license, doctors, surgeries, money.

Am I doing the right thing by asking GOD to take these terrible memories away?

Nora Wrote:

“You must be hurting deeply from her manipulative actions. Some people are chronic abusers of the system - they know how to manipulate facts and pass off lies as truth, just to get what they want. The only thing you can do is to try to remember that we are all human and fallible, and know that you were doing your best to be kind and supportive.”

Kim wrote:

“That's right that crazy lady! She will get what's coming to her and that is too bad for her 3 kids that they have a LADY for a mom. She had everything she could want food, home, love. I'm sure she now knows what she had in a man. Good for you moving on. I was reading your story and so sorry for pain, but you sound like the greatest man, she was crazy to let you go. If you do not mind me saying that, something big will come your way. – Kim”

Fiona Wrote:
Wow, sounds scary. The whole business. I would just let go of the ill feelings and count myself lucky that it ONLY lasted three years. My suggestion is next time some one tells you those things or similar things take their word for it. It can either be "game over" or "lets play another round."

So...

Imagine the context of a guy (me) meeting this women (4 years younger) in a restaurant. We start talking. There seem to be a lot in common. We start dating. I fall in love with this little women who is full of energy. She puts a lot of effort into isolating me from other women which I perceive as love on her part.

Later she even tried to isolate me from my male friends which she never could. I was always communicating with my first wife on friendly terms and that bothered the h... out of her.

1.“I am like play-dough. I can adapt to any man”. She said that on our first date. I told her that I am not interested in a woman like that. I told her she should just be herself. She never mentioned it again. I did not realize that she meant: I will pretend to be the perfect wife until I reach my objectives. I will abuse you until I get what I want.

2.“You are OK to live with”. She said that before she moved in with me. I completely misunderstood this. I thought she meant I was a nice guy. She meant I don’t love you but since you have a house and I need a place for my children and myself, I will move in with you and I will offer you sex in exchange.

3.“One day I will change my mind, then everything will change”. She said that right after we got married. I had no idea what she meant at the time. I thought she was just under a lot of stress. I was sure she would not be capable of hurting me after all I had given her. She meant: When I reach my objectives or when I can’t fake it any more – whichever happens first – I will stop being your lover and I will turn into your worst enemy.

4.“If you don't file for immigration for me and my children I will leave you a present”. Imagine a mother with two boys that don't have Social Security numbers and cannot travel to their home country, Mexico, for lack of legal papers. I understood it as: I am under a lot of stress. I need to fix the situation I and my children are in. I need you to help me with that. She meant: If you don't comply with my demands I will make false accusations of domestic violence against you and you will get arrested.

Yes, I heard these things with my ears, but I did not hear them with understanding. Not because my fear of abandonment, but because I thought of her as a helpless woman who needed help and that would never in her life be capable of hurting me, the man.

The amazing thing is that while she was executing her plan I still thought that she was a helpless woman who needed help and that would never in her life be capable of hurting me. I felt guilty and I still wanted to help her.

Even then I still didn't understand and I was in extreme denial.

She made the false accusations of Domestic Violence. We went to court and her accusations were dismissed. I spiraled into the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was very sick for months and I didn't know what was happening to me. Then I found out that I had PTSD and I started analyzing the events.

Only then.... only now I finally understand.

Flash-backs again…

It is 3 o’clock in the morning and I am wake. I just had a Flash-back:

I was waiting for the court session to start. She arrived together with her 2 sons. She was happy. She had got what she wanted. She planed it all and her dreams were becoming reality.

My lawyer arrives. My lawyer is a skinny, pretty little woman. I pointed at my wife and my lawyer went to have a word with her. My lawyer asked her if there was something she wanted from me, if she would consider dismissing the allegations.

She said she would not dismiss the allegations. She wanted to make the allegations in the court. It could be that she was sure the judge would rule in her favor, or that she just didn’t care because she already got everything she needed.

The court session started. My lawyer asked for an opening statement and told the judge that this was a case of an immigrant (my wife) married to a US citizen (me), that I already filed for divorce. That she (my wife) is making the domestic violence allegations in order abuse the system and get VAWA and immigration benefits. She made the domestic violence allegations so she could get to a shelter, get certified, get a job, get free housing and immigration papers. That she is making the domestic violence allegations in order to get my SUV that she has no right to have.

Then she (my wife) went on the witness stand. She swore to say the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. She was lying and the judge knew it. After a couple of minutes of her telling lies the judge said he heard enough and dismissed her accusations.

She stormed out of the court room and waited for the elevator to arrive. I asked my lawyer to get my car keys back. My lawyer and a policeman approached her and asked her to return my keys. She took the keys out of her purse with her hand shaking and handed them over to my lawyer and my lawyer gave them back to me.

My lawyer told me that this woman (my wife) doesn’t love me (or she wouldn’t do what she did – make the false allegations of domestic violence), that I should get the divorce right away. We went to the court calendar together and got a date for the divorce hearing.

A few days later I came back on my own for the divorce hearing. She (my wife) wasn’t present. The judge didn’t care. It was the same judge and he gave the final decree of the divorce right away. I guess he knew my ex-wife was abusing the system.

Then back to court again… The judge granted me an order saying that she (my ex-wife) had forfeited her rights to get her stuff that she left in my house. Then I told my story, that I was helping a domestic violence victim and that she ended up accusing me of domestic violence. That she abused me and systems like VAWA, The International Woman’s House (The shelter) and USCIS for her own benefit. The judge sympathized with me…

I am still suffering from PTSD. I still wake up in the middle of the night. I still have flash-backs, stress, muscle pains, stomach-aches and chest pains.

I am in therapy. My therapist is performing EMDR on me and I am getting better. I am feeling better. I just need to get rid of the flash-backs.

Get as far as I can from her ugly world.

It is 3 o’clock in the morning. I had a flash-back and I am awake. I can’t sleep.
Now that I am awake I feel at peace… Here is why:

I have been working hard on analyzing the traumatic events and I think I got most of it out of the dark. There was a bunch of stuff I just could not remember. I think I remember most of it now.

The flash-back was about the last surgery that she had. It was a cosmetic surgery. I paid for it. I drove her to and from the surgery. I sat by her bed for two weeks after the surgery. I gave her pills and suppositories for pain. I really took care of her.

Then I needed a couple of surgeries. It was out-patient procedures. She drove me to the surgeries and back. But something went horribly wrong…

I suppose she couldn’t stand to see that I had a medical problem, that I was not perfect, that I needed to be operated on, that I was bleeding, that my face was swollen and not so pretty to look at for a while… That I too had defects and that I was not perfect.

THAT’S IT. I have my defects. I am human. I bleed. I was bleeding. She could not take it. After that our relationship got worse every single day. She instigated most of it: The quarrels, the insane things she did with her 2 sons that made them hate me so much (like making them walk long distances instead of borrowing my car which she did again and again like a lunatic). That was a part of her plan so that they would cooperate when it would come to the worse part, the FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence.

I didn’t even fully recover from the surgery when she started calling the police… She needed the police reports as evidence…

She had this plan in her mind to accuse me of domestic violence and get to a shelter. They told her about the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) when her first husband was arrested for beating her in 2005. She would only have to claim there was violence. They don’t ask for any proof. They would accept her to the program… the only problem is that she would hurt me in the process.

So she did it. She made false accusations against me so she could get VAWA benefits.

She made the false accusations of Domestic Violence. We went to court and her accusations were DISMISSED. I spiraled into the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I was very sick for months and I didn't know what was happening to me. Then I found out that I had PTSD and I started analyzing the events.

It is 3 o’clock in the morning and I am awake. I feel at peace more than I did before. I have been working hard on analyzing the traumatic events. I think I remember most of it now.

It was not my fault. I am human. I have defects. I have a medical problem and I need surgeries. She is very sick. She had been abused by her first husband for 17 years. She cannot love another man. She is incapable of having a normal relationship with a man. She could not handle it. She is only capable of abusing men. How could I expect her to take care of me? HOW???

STUPID ME…

I wish for it to be over now. I want it to be over. I want to be able to sleep at night. I wish I could forget it all. I wish the thoughts, flash-backs and nightmares would go away forever.

Before I knew her I lived in a nice world where everybody around me was good and people did not hurt each-other. She revealed to me a world that I never knew before, that I did not want to know: A world of evil and malice, a world of ABUSE and FALSE ACCUSATIONS.

My life has changed forever and will never be the same again. I now live in an UGLY, FILTHY, DISGUSTING and EVIL world that I never knew existed. I have changed forever. I will never be the same again, thanks to her entering my life…

I want to get as far as I can from her ugly, filthy, disgusting and evil world. She can stay there if she wants. That would be her choice.

I want to get away from her UGLY WORLD.

Happy Anniversary !!!

Today is our anniversary. We got married a year ago. I pray for you. I cry for you.

I cry because I know you are sick. I know you are suffering. I know you are having a lot of pain.

I pray for you. I pray that you would get better. I pray that you would heal. I pray that you will be saved.

I am so sorry. I am sorry I failed. I did what I did with the best intentions. I took you in. I offered you and your 3 sons a house, a home, a family.

You told me you were a Domestic Violence victim. Your Mexican husband was beating on you for 17 years. I felt pity for you and I wanted to help.

You were desperate. You needed a place for you and your 3 sons. You decided to use me, abuse me and offer me sex in return. You seduced me. You thought of it like a job, like a business. As long as I paid, you would stay. When I stopped paying… oh yes… when I stopped paying you acted like a frustrated employee. You made the FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence against me.

Think about everything I did for you: Your gall bladder problems, your broken foot, your cosmetic surgeries. I took you to doctors. I took you to numerous medical procedures. I sat by your bed. I gave you pain pills, suppositories, ice where it hurt… and so many other things that I helped you with.

I just needed a couple of surgeries due to an accident I had when I was 10. I was sick but I was already getting better.

You are too weak. You are too sick to take care of me. You gave up. Not only that. You knew you could never pay back the debt.

So what did you do? FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence against me.

I was still recovering from the surgery. My face was still swollen. We had only been married for 3 months.

You started a stupid fight about a stupid movie on TV. You asked your son Raul to cut off the TV cables which he did in 4 places. You then went to the police. You told them I threw you out of the house. The next day you called the police again because you wanted to have my car. Then you told your sons to steal my car keys.

Then you were looking for ways to ACCUSE me of Domestic Violence. You looked hard for a VAWA agent that would believe you and help you with your malicious plan. You finally found Laura More of the International Woman’s House.

She told you what you needed to do.

You then called the police again to make a report of Emotional Violence. You needed that as evidence so that you could get to the shelter. Then you started provoking me, hoping that I would hit you so that I would get arrested.

I never hit you and you left the house and got to the shelter. They told you that you would get a lot more if you made the petition for a Temporary Protective Order. You would get a lot more if you made the FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence.

So after I took MY car back on December 31, you made the FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence against me. The judge knew you were lying and he dismissed your claim without even calling any witnesses…

You didn’t care about how much you would hurt me. You didn’t care about how much I had helped you. You are a selfish, self-centered, egoistic person. You only think about yourself and you are VERY, VERY SICK.

So, again, Happy Anniversary.

I will never understand how a human being can do what you did.

I will never understand how, after everything that I helped you with, you could hurt me so much.

Can you live with yourself?

Happy Anniversary !!!

I should consider myself lucky. I woke up at 2:00 AM instead of 1:00 AM as I usually do. Other than that it is business as usual: Nightmares, flash-backs, reliving the events, and pain…

Why does it hurt so much? Why? It is not fair.

I just want to sleep like a normal person and I want the pain to go away. Why do I have to suffer? I made mistakes but my intentions were pure.

I filed for divorce after only 3 months of marriage because I could tell there was something totally wrong with the marriage. She had threatened me and she said she married me for immigration reasons only.

How is it possible that there is a law in this country called Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)? Under this law a woman can simply claim that she is a Domestic Violence victim and she gets all the help she needs: Housing, Legal, Psychological, Medical, Employment and Immigration papers to stay in this country…

There is just one problem: The Domestic Violence shelter will require that she (and help her) file FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence against me and she would make these accusations in court as a petition for a Temporary Protective Order.

When I met her in 2005 she was divorcing her ABUSIVE husband who had been beating on her for 17 year, she was illegal in this country and needed housing for herself and her 3 children.

For 3 years I provided her with a house, medical services, food, money, love and much more. I helped her hide from her ABUSIVE husband and from the law.

So it was time to pay back the favor: She used the law to HURT me. She used the law to hide her from ME. She made FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence against me.

So now she is hiding again like it says in Proverbs 28: “The wicked flee when no one is pursuing, but the righteous are bold as a lion.” and “When the righteous triumph, there is great glory, but when the wicked rise, men hide themselves.”

Why does it hurt so much? Why? It is not fair.

It is 2:00 AM and I am awake: flash-backs, reliving the events, and pain…

God, please help me. Please…

"Despite of everything you did to hurt me I love you and I forgive you. I gave you and your children so much during three years, house, family, medical services, protection, food and money and you paid me back with FALSE ACCUSATIONS of Domestic Violence. Despite all that I love you and I forgive you. May God bless you in all aspects of your life."

Does anyone ever post the names of these evil malcontents who infest our country?

The woman that burned me was named somrak potanee AKA Lynn AKA Daowan AKA MayLing Sae Ung now apparently Lynn Gonzales currently claiming to be working in Pasadena as a cosmetologist